The more I reflect on people that
inspire me, the stronger my conviction that I am but an amalgam of all the
perspectives that I have gained. Perspectives shape choices that we make
which, in turn, are a large part of who we are. But there is a
difference between inspiration and parroting. Given the richness and
diversity of perspective that I have access to – thanks to people, books and
yes, even films - my job is akin to that of a film director who is given a
script by a scriptwriter. My job is to be alert, capture the essence
of what I receive and distill it through my own sensibilities.
As I think deeper about the people
that I look up to, a trifecta of traits come to mind – quiet assurance,
decisive action and understated focus on people around them. I
probably listed that in reverse. Because they never lose focus on
their near and dear, they spring into action at the right times and do so with
an understatement that merits much spotlight but invariably evades
it. Let me now ensure that at least a few spotlights don’t miss
their target! Without further ado, as directors holler at the
beginning of a shot, “action!”
Episode #1 - My Chinna Paati (whom
I affectionately call, CP; I have written about her husband in this blog)
recently turned 80. As I was reminiscing about her and my childhood
days, one memory stood out. I was in 8th grade when
my grandpa passed away unexpectedly at the relatively young age of 61. The
entire family was in a state of shock, a state from which recovery was not
going to happen within a week. But within a week was when my final
exams were going to begin. In order to earn a certificate called the
Merit Card, we had to score at or above 60% in every test and exam and appear
for every exam at the scheduled date and time. Up until then, I had
had a decent academic year. And as my immediate family was reeling
under the effects of the tragedy, my CP took it upon herself to coach me for the
week leading up to and during the week of the exams. Amidst the
wailing and the priests who were working with my family on the rituals, she
would gently usher me into my study room and “revise” every
subject. And when I did indeed get the certificate months later, I
knew that I had no reason to gloat over it. Because the person that
truly made it happen never made a fuss about it.
Episode #2 - 2006 is not a year of
which I have many fond memories. The year ended quite well but I did
experience considerable pain in the first half of it. I was in a
rather depressed state following a setback. My paternal
Aunt, who lived in the same area, unhesitatingly asked me to move in with them
until I resolved my situation. I have always been very close to her
and so, in a way, I should not be surprised at her generosity. But
the fact that my Uncle too extended the same warmth, affection and courtesy
without batting an eyelid, is something for which I am truly
grateful. The fact that they had an infant to take care of, makes it
even more remarkable. For the next three months, not only did they
give me a secure roof to stay under but also nurtured me through my highs and
lows. If not for them, there is a strong chance that I might have
sunk into a depressive phase. Despite the timeliness of their
gesture, in these fourteen years, I have not heard my Aunt or Uncle mention
this period even once. And when I do, they just smile and dismiss it
off as “not a big deal at all.” And on that rare occasion, I
vehemently disagree with them!
Episode #3 - Another Aunt of mine
did something for me back in 2018 that was seemingly intangible but priceless
as far as I was concerned. My maternal grandma had suffered a major
heart attack on New Year’s. She had been in a critical condition for
weeks and returned home in a much-compromised state and remained bed-ridden for
the next few months. My parents had been in India for the first few
weeks following the hospitalization. And it was in March that I had
planned a weeklong trip to India. During my trip to India, my Aunt
told me that she had prayed everyday for my grandma’s health. No
surprises there, knowing my Aunt. But what truly warmed my heart was
her following line – “I would pray everyday that she should definitely survive
until you come because I know you would have never gotten closure if something
untoward had happened prior to your arrival.” The specificity and
thoughtfulness of my Aunt’s prayer taught me that piety is enormously touching
when it is personalized. I may not be a believer but I certainly
believe in the divinity of genuine human emotion.
I can write about many more people
whose actions have spoken volumes of their character and the abiding impact
they have made on me as a person. For now, on the eve of
Thanksgiving, I shall give my thanks to these people specifically. I
do so with the knowledge that they represent the values for which many other
inspirations of mine stand. On that note, as Directors like to say,
“that’s a wrap!”
Happy Thanksgiving!
